Galactic Radio7, the show that brings you all the music, all the news and all the gossip you need is under attack! Renowned late night talk host DJ Squatz’s show is being hijacked by Pirate Radio Onionhead. Can you help hunt down the Pirate radio station and stop this travesty! And how many snacks is too many snacks?
'Whilst travelling the bubble and twiddling with twiddly bits in your ship you find a radio station to fill the endless void. It’s Radio7 the station that gives you all the music, all the gossip, all the…well you get the picture. Its host DJ Squatz invites you in to listen to the show at www.bandcamp/tocoso, you settle down and listen whilst of course doing some incessant hauling and then suddenly the signal distorts and bleeps and a new voice appears. Who is this emerging from the static its DJ Bongwater from Pirate Radio Onionhead, they have taken over the air waves and… what's this he has stolen Radio7’s sponsors.
DJ Squatz is overwhelmed and starts to fall back into his PTSD caused by his time serving in the Catering Core during the Thargoid War. He calls Cmdrs to the Radio7 Studio Facility in Col 285 Sector YX-F b12-7 to help him in this plight will you heed his call and save radio7???”
You swiftly rush to the system, or you slowly jump there continually worrying about the time you are losing that could be spent hauling 1000t an hour to yet another Noob hammer Coriolis..
As you jump in-system and honk your honker you see that the Radio7 Studio Facility is orbiting a beautiful gas giant and floats majestically above some delicate icy rings.
HEAD TO THE RADIO7 STUDIO FACILITY..
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The Radio7 Studio Facility
You dock quickly, well you faceplant on a pad after circling looking for pad 3, why is it always pad 3! You swiftly disembark to go and help, but where should you go??? To the bar of course!!
HEAD TO THE BAR
As you enter the bar, you hear the show blaring in the background and notice that things look a little sparse in here, striding up to the bar, the barman (Matt Hahn) turns and welcomes you.
'THANKS FOR COMING SO QUICKLY CMDR, ITS ALL GOING WRONG!! DJ SQUATZ IS GOING MAD IN THERE, HIS PRODUCER IS WORRIED ABOUT THE STRESS TRIGGERING HIS PTSD. …AND,..WELL. THIS STATION NEVER HAD MUCH MONEY, BUT AT THE MOMENT WE HAVE NO SPONSORS, JUST PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENTS AND I HAVEN’T BEEN PAID FOR MONTHS SO MY FAMILY AND I WILL GO HUNGRY AGAIN TONIGHT. BUT YOU COULD HELP US, IF YOU WANT TO HELP US, WE NEED TO FIND WHERE THIS PIRATE RADIO STATION IS BROADCASTING FROM. SO YOUR FIRST JOB IS TO HEAD TO OUR RADIO7 SIGNAL BOOSTER, IT’S IN THIS SYSTEM NOT FAR FROM HERE, BELOW THE RINGS OF THE GAS GIANT.
ONCE YOU FIND IT, SCAN IT AND THEN I SHOULD BE ABLE TO USE THAT DATA TO GIVE YOU SOME INFO ABOUT WHERE THE SIGNAL IS COMING FROM. GOD SPEED CMDR JONESY WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING OVER THERE!!!'
Now head to the Radio7 Signal Booster (in the same system just below the rings of the Gas Giant you are orbitting).
Once the step is completed, proceed to the next step
The Radio7 Signal Booster
Scan the Booster Facility with your passive scanner.....
Matt Hahn contacts you
“THAT WAS FAST CMDR, DECENT SCAN DATA TOO WELL..HMM.. ITS NOT THE SOURCE BUT FROM THE DIRECTION OF THE CARRIER WAVE I THINK THE SIGNAL CAME FROM IN THE BUBBLE. I COULDN'T FIND THE ACTUAL SYSTEM, BUT I GOT PINGS FROM 3 SYSTEMS ALL NEARLY 17 LYRS FROM IT. YOU COULD DO IT BY EYE OR USE THE TRILATERATION TOOL ON THE DANGEREUSE WEBSITE, LOVELY BIT OF KIT! HERE'S THE LIST OF SYSTEMS THAT ARE ALL 16.9 LYRS AWAY FROM THE SIGNAL SOURCE.
NABATEAN, TAVGI AND LTT 692 AH I REMEMBER TAVGI THERE WAS A DEXTROUS MAIDEN CALLED MOLLY WHO LIVED THEIR IF I REMEMBER CORRECTLY, EXCEEDINGLY DEXTROUS….JONESY DONT BE A PLONKER I WILL CALL YOUR WIFE WELL ONE OF YOUR WIVES!!'
'OH AND I ALSO FOUND THIS AN AUDIO HANDSHAKE ON EACH SIDE OF THE MAIN SIGNAL, COULD BE USEFUL. SO TRIANGULATE THOSE SYSTEMS AND SEE IF YOU CAN FIND WHERE THE CARRIER WAVES ARE COMING FROM.'
Once the step is completed, proceed to the next step
Trilateration Time...
Use the Trilateration Tool to find where the signal has come from. Data to enter NABATEAN, TAVGI, LTT 692 DISTANCE 16.9 LYRS
LP 988-175 AND Shui Wei Sector BQ-Y d106
Travel to the systems and search for the Radio Onionhead Bubble Transmission Hub..
LP 988-175
Once the step is completed, proceed to the next step
The Transmission Hub
Scan the Station and Matt Hahn contacts you.
“RIGHT CMDR IF YOU HAVE FOUND THEIR STATION SCAN IT AND THEN SEE IF YOU CAN LAND ON IT. THEN GET ON FOOT AND LOG IN ON ONE OF THE TERMINALS INSIDE THE STATION, ACCESS THE LOCAL NEWS THEN CALL ME, I CAN UPLOAD A BROBAN VIRUS TO INTO THE LOCAL NEWS SERVER AND THIS WILL MESS WITH THIS SIGNAL BROADCASTING!!! I WILL ALSO SEE IF I CAN TRACK WHERE THIS STATION IS GETTING ITS SIGNALS FROM, contact me when you are in there!!! “JONESY PUT DOWN THE BOG SPANIEL ITS NOT A TOY!”
Land on the Station and chat to the barkeep......
To continue please find out the barmans name at this Onionhead Hub and use it as the password to continue this adventure....
Password:
Matt Hahn contacts you.
“JONESY I GOT MY EYE ON YOU, AND A LOADED SYRINGE IF YOU GET ME! … AH CMR WELL DONE FOR GETTING ME RIGHT INSIDE THEIR HUB BROBAN VIRUS INSERTED, NOW LETS LOOK AT WHAT WE GET FROM THEIR SIGNAL RIGHT A DIFFERENT CARRIER THIS TIME THE SCAN DATA POINTS TOWARDS SOME SYSTEMS ALL AROUND 50 LYRS FROM THE TARGET SYSTEM. BUT ONLY 2 SYSTEMS, SO WE CAN’T TRIANGULATE, BUT THEY SEEM TO BE EITHER SIDE OF THE SYSTEM SO THEY WILL CREATE A DISSECTING LINE, IT’S OUT IN THE PLEIADES. HERE’S THE SYSTEMS MAIA AND PLEIADES SECTOR ZK-X B1-0. Hang on another ones popped up Pleiades Sector DL-X b1-0, PUT EM ALL IN THE TRILATERATION AS 50LY AWAY AND SEE WHAT POPS OUT
“Hang on DJ Squatz wants a word.”
“CMDR, if you are going to try to take down Radio Onionhead then I think the best thing to do would be to take some super strength Onionhead with you. Fight fire with fire!!! Fight onions with onions, fight salad bars with ranch dressing nnnngngngn!! Well… There's that new Gamma Strain Onionhead, grab a unit before you leave the bubble or take 4 units or 4hundred!!, We will figure a way to get DJ Bongwater to smoke some of it and he won’t be ready for it’s strength, oh he will get his just desserts! Desserts! Oh no its happening again !!! Nurse!!!”
“UM THANK YOU SQUATZ, GET THE NURSE IN THERE QUICK OH THERE WAS ANOTHER AUDIO HANDSHAKE ON THIS BROADCAST TOO! SO THATS 2 ENCYPTED HANDSHAKES NOW SO NOW GO GET SOME GAMMA STRAIN AND HEAD TO THOSE SYSTEMS AND SEE IF YOU CAN FIND THE BOOSTER SOURCE JONESY I WARNED YOU, THE SPANIELS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE FOOD NOT SPORTS EQUIPMENT OR MARITAL AIDS ”
Once the step is completed, proceed to the next step
Trilateration time, again...
Use the Trilateration tool to find the system that the signal was sent from.
BUY SOME GAMMA STRAIN BEFORE YOU LEAVE THE BUBBLE!!!!!!
This is very important as you cannot get it outside the bubble!?!?
HAVE YOU BOUGHT 1 TON OF GAMMA STRAIN ONIONHEAD ?
Once you have got at least 1 ton of Gamma Strain Onionhead from the bubble, then head to Pleiades Sector FR-V b2-2.
Once the step is completed, proceed to the next step
Signal Relay Station
Once you have found the system and the outpost, passive scan it and the Barman will contact you.
WOW YOU’VE FOUND IT NOW DOCK, AS THIS LOOKS LIKE A PRETTY DARK, SECRET, LITTLE OUTPOST, JUST PASSING THE SIGNAL ONTO THE BUBBLE AND NOTHING ELSE GOING ON I IMAGINE. FIND A TERMINAL AND GET INTO THE LOCAL NEWS AND THEN I CAN DO MY HACKING FROM OUR COMMS,
BUT DONT TALK TO JASMIN BUCKNER SHE MIGHT BE DANGUS BUT HER TONGUE WAGGLES WHEN SHE SEES ANYTHING OUT OF THE ORDINARY. BUT YEAH GET ME IN AND I WILL FIND ANY DATA I CAN AND GET A BROBAN IN THE WORKS”
Land and Login to a terminal, Matt Hahn then contacts you.
“WOW YOU WERE QUICK CMDR! DECENT DATA BUT .. THE SIGNAL WAS PRETTY SCRAMBLED I THINK THIS IS FROM THE PRIMARY BOOSTER AFTER THE ORIGINAL BROADCAST SOURCE, I COULDN'T GET MUCH OUT OF THIS ONLY ANOTHER AUDIO HANDSHAKE. IF I WERE YOU I WOULD TRY SPECTRAL ANALYSING THEM FOR ANY INFO.
JONESY STOP SQUEEZING THE LIFE FORMS, YOU ARE TESTING MY PATIENCE!!
WHERE WAS I, OH YEAH WE HAVE THREE AUDIO HANDSHAKES NOW AND THEY ALL HAVE A SIMILAR CARRIER RHYTHM, MAYBE LINE THEM UP AND SEE WHAT THE COMBINED SIGNALS CREATE??”
To continue the adventure enter the name of the barman at this Radio Onionhead Facility
Password:
Once the step is completed, proceed to the next step
Spectral Analysing time...
YOU CAN USE AUDACITY A FREE AUDIO WORKSTATION TO OPEN THE AUDIO FILES THEN CLICK THE SMALL TRIANGLE ON THE LEFT OF THE SOUNDWAVE
TO TURN THE VIEW TO SPECTROGRAM.
HOW TO USE AUDACITY TO TURN A WAVEFORM VIEW TO SPECTRAL VIEW
Once you decode the audio barman Matt Hahn contacts you.
'Awesome work CMDR, I reckon we have found the vipers nest, this is where the original signal is coming from, no more boosters, this is them.
Well I hope you have got some snacks its a fair old way out to the California Nebula but its a beautiful place to visit.'
'Jonesy!! I think you need a visit to the little boys room, as if you do keep doing, what you're doing, all over that terminal I think you may receive a short sharp shock that even your drug addled brain will not be able to deal with......Jonesy!!!'
Travel to the California Sector JR-V B2-0 and find the Radio Onionhead Studio.
Once the step is completed, proceed to the next step
The Radio Onionhead Studio
Scan the Studio and Matt Hahn contacts you.....
YOU FOUND IT, YOU FOUND THEM! AWESOME JOB CMDR! WHEN I GOT THE SYSTEM DATA I HAD A SWIFT INARA AND A THINK, YEAH SO I THINK I KNOW WHAT TO DO. THE BARMAN, AT THE RADIO ONIONHEAD STATION, IS AN OLD FRIEND, WELL HE’S JONESYS BROTHER SO HE OWES ME FOR EVERY TIME I’VE PULLED HIS BROTHER OUT OF DETENTION.
JONESY DON'T PUT THE CUP UP THERE, YOUR NOT BLOOMIN OFFICER TRENT NISMO ARE YOU??
SO I HAVE CALLED HIS BROTHER AND I HAVE ASKED A FAVOUR, IF YOU SELL YOUR SUPER STRAIN ONIONHEAD TO THE BLACK MARKET CONTACT THERE, HE WILL PASS IT ON TO BONGWATER.
BONGWATER IS A CONSPIRACY NUT AND WONT PLAY THE JONES BROTHERS TUNES AS THEY MAY CONTAIN SECRET CODED MESSAGES!! SO JONESY DOESN’T MIND SABOTAGING THEM SO YEAH HE WILL PASS ON THE GAMMA STRAIN BUT HE’LL PUT IT IN NORMAL ONIONHEAD PACKAGING, AND HE SAYS DJ BONGWATER IS SUCH A LIGHT WEIGHT HE WILL PROBABLY HAVE A TWO WEEK WHITEY AFTER SMOKING GAMMA STRAIN AND HE WONT FEEL HIS THUMBS LIPS OR TEETH MAYBE EVER AGAIN!! HAHA LET ALONE BE ABLE TO RUN A RADIO SHOW, DO IT CMDR GO SELL THAT ONIONHEAD TO THE BLACK MARKET!!
Sell at least 1 ton of GAMMA STRAIN ONIONHEAD to Camilla Stephenson the Black Market contact.
Once the step is completed, proceed to the next step
The Radio Station falls silent, all that you can hear is snoring and the sounds of Derek weeping in the background.
David I.O's Diamente Beluga can be seen leaving the system......you have done it.....
Once the step is completed, proceed to the next step
DJ Squatz contacts you
'Producer I want that CMDR on the phone...I wanna personally....uh.... they are on the phone...that's them right there....um ...hello...ah this is DJ Squatz and I just wanted to say.
Thank you CMDR, CMDR Tocoso and Heli both thank you for your epic work smuggling drugs!! And remind you that this is just a simulation and selling drugs to solve radio station disputes is not typically a legal course of action”
“Remember never was so much owed by so many to so few, and never was so much smoked by just one DJ. So thank you again and see you out in the black CMDR!! This is DJ Squatz signing off'
You did it!!
Radio7 is saved and DJ Squatz is back to his old, slightly deranged self.
Fanfares and ticker tape parades sadly are not in-game, but I thank you for completeing this adventure and saving Radio7 so it can rise and live again!!
Once the step is completed, proceed to the next step
The Outro
Coming in the future!!
Radio7 part 3.
DJ Squatz now a powerplay leader is tired of his responsibilities of running a government and escapes the bubble into the black while being pursued by his zealous ministers.
Out there he encounters, rogue AI's, explorers still lost from the 1st Distant Worlds, the Cosmic Horror Band, the ihads-ex sector, defies the big permit locks, meets the guardians and those curtesy thargoids and someone called captain Kork and Eggnog from Battle beyond the Clouds... and ultimately stumbling upon the secret of raxxla...
